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Friday, October 30, 2009

Not for the Faint of Heart...

I have so many thoughts during the day, of things I will tell my children when they grow up...things my mother probably told me and I swore I'd never pass on to my children...but here I am, and here they are, and I have plenty to say.
When I quit my job last June, I thought it'd be a great time to finish my bachelor's degree in business, you know, have it tucked under my belt for a rainy day sorta thing. I figured I'd leisurely finish baking the bun I had in the oven (yep, that phrase is like nails on a chalkboard to me too!) and get my diploma right about the time the baby was born. What I soon realized is that I could learn a plethora of things by just being a stay-at-home mom. Turns out, the knowledge I gained is a heckuva lot more useful than a lot of textbooks have to offer, too. For instance: if you get Vaseline in your hair, or in this case, a blonde 4 year old's hair, it takes exactly 5 days of repetitive (think 3-4 times a day) washings with Dawn dishsoap to remove. I was determined not to buzz his hair off. Word to the wise though: be flexible, literally. 4 year old boys will kick the tar out of you when you're leaning their heads over the sink and washing them for the 26th time.
Or, you know how scientists are always saying we've evolved from primates...(or something like that?) Well I believe it entirely now that I know that the very top shelves of closets and pantries, and all that you hide up there including chips, candy, money jars, etc. are not beyond the climbing abilties of a 2 year old who normally announces dramatically that he can't climb the stairs for bed at night and tragically can't get in his seat to eat lunch. It's amazing, those primal instincts.
What about that moment in the store, when you're at your wit's end, the sweat beading on your forehead as you avoid eye-contact with everyone because, yes, it's your kid screaming for marshmallows in the cart, and yep, your kid who has just thrown a box of mac n' cheese at an elderly lady and you could swear people are looking at your belly bump thinking "and you're doing this again?"...and you're threatening through your teeth that you'll take away every toy in the toybox if somebody doesn't straighten up right now when, yep, your kid screeches "DON'T HIT ME!!!"
....and I could keep going. But, if you're a mom, you probably could too....
oh and good news, I still got the diploma.
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