On Value

So, here's how it started: Our house was sound asleep. Then came the "stirring." The restless back and forth head movements of my baby girl, as she begins to wake. Then came the fussing that accompanies the stirring after a minute or two. I groaned and looked at the clock, which read 5:48 a.m. Not too bad. I laid there, mentally preparing myself to sit up and take Ella from her bassinet, when my husband popped up out of bed to go retrieve her. I couldn't believe it. I thought sure I was dreaming. Enveloped in the moment of great sleepy happiness, I rolled over and pulled my blankets up to my chin and closed my eyes. But the fussing didn't stop. And I didn't hear her bottle preparation in the works...so I rolled back over and peeked one eye open, to see Randy standing next to me, holding her, with a look of expectation on his face. Read: I do NOT like looks of expectation at 5:48 a.m.. He laid Ella down on the bed and handed me a diaper and the baby wipes. He then made her a bottle...and handed that to me too. I sat up in bed, completely defeated, and I changed and fed the now squirmy and very much awake baby...while she giggled and gurgled in her great "awake" happiness. And without a word, my husband slipped back under the covers and closed his eyes.
So that's when I said it.
"Does it ever occur to you that I'd like to sleep once in a while too? Does it occur to you that I'm actually not the ONLY one who knows how to change a diaper or make a bottle? Or that maybe once in a while, you could just handle this and let me rest?"
Silence...
Two minutes pass.
I clear my throat, purposely loud.
Finally he speaks: "Well, it's not like you have to work or anything."
So that's when I blew up. I'm quite sure I looked like a Looney Tunes character with bloodshot eyes bugging out of my head and steam coming out of my ears. I said lots of things. Things I shall not repeat here. But in conclusion, I said:
"I guess I'm going to have to go and get a REAL JOB in order to be considered valuable around here."
Value.
I think I'm a valuable person...my dogs think I'm pretty great. My cats like to know I'm here to feed them...and my kids, they'd surely miss me. But it's true, I technically don't have a real job. I did have a really good job. I made good money and I had opportunities to advance into future career endeavors... and then I quit it, to do this mommy thing. This mommy thing that is, by far, the most equally rewarding and gut-wrenchingly challenging position I've ever accepted in my life. And to be egotistical for a second, I'm smart, I'm a little funny, and I think I was an asset to the "real job world" at one point. Once, an aquaintance on my Facebook page posted as his status that something (I can't even remember what the something was) is "as useless as a mom's college degree." I got upset by that. Offended. And then I realized, it was just ignorance on his part. He has no idea what moms have to put up with on a daily basis. There are things we moms do that would be unthinkable in the outside work environment. Our job requires: heavy lifting, dealing with extremely insubordinate "employees," responsibility to feed and clothe said "employees" sometimes several times a day,dealing with hazardous materials (messy diapers, runny noses, stomach flu...need I say more?),no sick time, no vacation, overtime EVERY day with no extra pay, and come to think of it, no paycheck at all, actually. Teaching duties include: teaching one to read and write, one to fall asleep on her own and one to use the potty...Oh yeah, and secretarial duties include: making doctor appointments, dentist appointments and scheduling around Tae Kwon Do. A lot of this happens before I even get a shower in the morning. I could come up with one heck of a resume. This makes me chuckle, considering my official bachelor's degree title was "Organizational Management." I don't think this is what they meant.
A good cousin of mine invited me to become part of her network on Linkedin...cousin, if you're reading, I did accept the invite! But I struggled with the part where it asked me what my occupation is. I didn't see Mom on there anywhere. So I thought I'd just pick one off the list. Administrative Service Manager? Hmm...or maybe Chef/Head Cook? Barber would fit too...Captain?...Bus Driver(Gold Lame' is pretty bus-like)...Education Administrator, Labor Contractor, Healthcare Support Worker...this is getting tough. Even Animal Breeder might be considered appropriate, if you've met my children. So, I simply left the field blank. I couldn't choose just one.
Someday, maybe I'll rejoin Corporate America. But for now, I'm satisfied being the head of my own corporation here. And I greatly respect all of you individuals who work outside the home, I truly do. I don't think I'm better than any of you. It's a tough world out there. I didn't think twice about writing about this topic today, though, because I'll bet there are a lot of stay-at-home moms out there just like me, who may feel the same way. Those of us who've been asked "What do you do for a living?" and when we answer, we get "Oh, how nice for you"...or , "oh, I wish I had the luxury of staying at home too." You know my answer? "It is nice," and "I wish you could, too, because you'll learn more about yourself in 24 hours than you ever thought you could know." And, to end this painfully long post with my signature wit and charm (it' alright, you can roll your eyes here), I do challenge the Facebook aquaintance who made the Bozo claim that a mom's degree is useless to come and spend a day in my shoes. We'll see if he'd like to retract his statement.