Let's face it, I've never had a great body. That being said, it's been greater than it is today, for sure. I realized in complete mortification that I had a uni-butt when I saw the pictures my sister took of our walk through Warren Woods, although she assured me it was just the mistake of wearing jeans with no back pockets.
Reality is, I've had three children, and things just aren't the same. Things have migrated to new locations...and notice I didn't say "new and improved" locations. After child number 2, I had gallb ladder surgery and while my doctor was explaining the operation, I felt inclined to bring up my flab. He grinned and shrugged and said, "that's why plastic surgeons drive nice cars, dear."
When you're up late at night, nursing a newborn (which, sidebar, isn't that supposed be burning off some calories?)...you see a multitude of these rapid weight loss programs...some of my favorites are the Ab-Circle, which will give you that sexy "v shape" you've always wanted, the 10 minute trainer which has transformed many a blobby mama into a hot babe, and Insanity...which speaks for itself. Also, I must give special recognition to the frequent Extenze infomercial...no, it's obviously not for weight loss, but it sure makes it look like fun to wear supertight racecar hot pants....and have it relate somehow to male enhancement...but I regress...
Yesterday, a dear friend and I walked my neighborhood in our Halloween garb while our kids ran door to door trick-or-treating. A strong wind picked up, blowing my black "witch dress" snugly across my middle, causing me to apologetically call attention to the baby lump (not bump, that's the cute pre-baby term) that has made a home there. My friend merely sighed, nodded toward her son and said..."I've had mine for 11 years, good luck with that." So, I resign to be comfortable with mine...maybe even embrace it. After all, I've got pretty amazing kids to show for it. It's not like it was just too many Hostess cupcakes, though I can't completely eliminate that source of blame. I made a little home for three little blessings in that so-called lump...so maybe I should just make peace with it. Or at least be patient with it. You know, till I can afford the tummy-tuck. And in the meantime, I s'pose I should get this Ab-Circle outta the box and give it a whirl.
I've pretty much made peace with my "lump/bump." Never had a flat midsection in my life...oh wait...there was that brief moment when I was 19...ah yes. Ok back to reality, I guess I will be contributing to the plastic surgeon's fancy car fund too!!!
ReplyDeleteLove it! The blog...not the lump...I am speaking about every mother's lump & yes that includes mine. It really isn't fair that we do all the hard work & then have a lifetime of scars, lumps & marks to show it. I guess you could look at it as battle scars & be very proud of them. I actually look forward to fall & winter when I can hide it all behind lumpy sweaters & jeans. Let me know when you want to go together to get that tummy tuck. Love ya & thanks for the cute Godsons & future daughter-in-law that gave you that lump.
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