Conversations with a Five Year Old

I am always amazed and surprised at the things my children come up with, but lately, my Isaac, in particular, has said some pretty profound things for a fiver. I have to catch myself a lot, because I find myself having "regular" conversations with him about things, more like two buddies would have, less like a mother and (very young) child would have. They go a little something like this:
Me: (watching Miss America)I don't think that even if I had the best body in the world, I'd wear a bikini on television.
Isaac: Yeah...those girls are kinda hot.
Me: What!?!
Isaac: You're just upset because you'd look too fat.
Me: Thanks...that's nice.
Isaac: (pointing at my middle) Well, whaddaya call that? Maybe you should just grow a mustache.
Me: Because now I look like a man?
Isaac: (huge sigh) I don't know. (continues coloring Spiderman)

And another day...
I was sitting in my office, typing away at some schoolwork, and I hear a deafening silence from my living room. Usually I hear some sort of ruckus, or at least the sound effects of a cartoon. This day, I hear nothing. So I wander out into the room to find Isaac covered up to his eyes in the couch blanket, peering out, watching a soap opera.
Me: Is this a soap opera?
Isaac: Is that what it's called?
Me: I don't really know why, but yes.
Isaac: Yeah, I don't know either, but it's very, very sad.
Me: Why?
Isaac: It's just that all these people have sad lives and they are always in the hospital or something. When I grow up, I'm going to help people. And animals. And work in a hospital.
Me: Yes, because you need to buy your mommy a nice house.
Isaac: Yep, well, a house for both of us, because I'm going to live with you forever.

And just the other day...
Isaac: (to my sister) Do you have a boyfriend, Tante?
Stacey: No. Do you have a girlfriend?
Isaac: No. I did, but I don't right now. It was Brielle, but now she doesn't come over because Mommy doesn't let her.
Me: That's true.
Stacey: That's good. But when you go to school, you might get a new girlfriend.
Isaac: I'm not going to school. Besides, I won't get one anyway. Girls don't like guys like me.
Me: What's a guy like you?
Isaac: Look at me. I'm ugly. Girls like cute guys.
Me: You are very cute!
Stacey: Not when you make bodily noises.
Isaac: Girls won't like when I toot?
Me: Definitely not.
Stacey: Nope, they won't. It's gross.
Isaac: Whatever. I don't care.
Me: Isaac...I love you.
Isaac: Yeah. I know it.